So this week has been highly stressful. It's not going to get much better, sadly, because it's almost the end of the semester and I have so much to do! Papers, essays, and all sorts of things that I just can't seem to handle. I want a day off just to breathe, but there's no time for even that. Once it gets to the end I'm just going to COLLAPSE and take a weekend to recover. Part of the problem seems to stem from the fact that my medication doesn't seem to be working very much anymore, and that's really, really bad. Thankfully, though, I have a doctor's appointment in a week or two, so I can talk to him about switching my meds.
Something else that's been bothering me is BOYS. I've been seeing this guy Wes since last August, and things are going well enough as can be expected with a semi-long-distance "relationship." However, I've been apparently catching the eye of quite a few other guys here at school, who all happen to be geeks (which doesn't bother me, seeing as I'm a geek too), and who all are really cool guys...as friends. It's just saddening and confusing, when these other guys seem to all be wanting me but the only one I want is constantly frustrating me and I don't know where I stand with him. I must just be a glutton for punishment or something, because I don't see why I keep doing this to myself. It's the same sort of thing with my last boyfriend, Andy-- where we were great together, but didn't see each other all that often (but unlike with Wes, Andy and I hardly got to talk at ALL due to his work situation, where as Wes and I have a fairly regular communication system), but I latched myself to him because I wanted the relationship to work and wouldn't consider other guys.
I'm the type of chick who can't date a bunch of guys. I have to find ONE guy who I can have a long-term relationship with, and finding someone like that doesn't happen often for me. I have slight infatuations rather often, but I only find "that" guy every once in a while, which is why I haven't had many boyfriends. I want that with Wes, but as we're in relationship limbo I don't know what to do. I need to talk to him about it all but it's a terrible time to do so what with finals and all coming up, so...I'm kinda stuck. (Dammit.)
All right, that's my rant for today. I'm gonna take some time off for the afternoon before I get some cleaning done tonight. Later~!
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you are not the only girl that keeps doing that to herself....the guy situation. trust me! (i'm in a good place now, but i've been through all of that, too. and even ryan and i weren't the perfect couple for quite a while, believe it or not.) you are FAR from alone in feeling what you're feeling and going through all of that. and yes, you and wes do need to talk and get things straightened out. you need to at least be on the same page. but for now - focus on your top priorities. that will still be there to deal with after finals. :) good luck with it all! love you!
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