Blowing off steam and wool-gathering

So this week has been highly stressful. It's not going to get much better, sadly, because it's almost the end of the semester and I have so much to do! Papers, essays, and all sorts of things that I just can't seem to handle. I want a day off just to breathe, but there's no time for even that. Once it gets to the end I'm just going to COLLAPSE and take a weekend to recover. Part of the problem seems to stem from the fact that my medication doesn't seem to be working very much anymore, and that's really, really bad. Thankfully, though, I have a doctor's appointment in a week or two, so I can talk to him about switching my meds.

Something else that's been bothering me is BOYS. I've been seeing this guy Wes since last August, and things are going well enough as can be expected with a semi-long-distance "relationship." However, I've been apparently catching the eye of quite a few other guys here at school, who all happen to be geeks (which doesn't bother me, seeing as I'm a geek too), and who all are really cool guys...as friends. It's just saddening and confusing, when these other guys seem to all be wanting me but the only one I want is constantly frustrating me and I don't know where I stand with him. I must just be a glutton for punishment or something, because I don't see why I keep doing this to myself. It's the same sort of thing with my last boyfriend, Andy-- where we were great together, but didn't see each other all that often (but unlike with Wes, Andy and I hardly got to talk at ALL due to his work situation, where as Wes and I have a fairly regular communication system), but I latched myself to him because I wanted the relationship to work and wouldn't consider other guys.
I'm the type of chick who can't date a bunch of guys. I have to find ONE guy who I can have a long-term relationship with, and finding someone like that doesn't happen often for me. I have slight infatuations rather often, but I only find "that" guy every once in a while, which is why I haven't had many boyfriends. I want that with Wes, but as we're in relationship limbo I don't know what to do. I need to talk to him about it all but it's a terrible time to do so what with finals and all coming up, so...I'm kinda stuck. (Dammit.)

All right, that's my rant for today. I'm gonna take some time off for the afternoon before I get some cleaning done tonight. Later~!

Because Blogger hates me.

If you've been wondering where I've been for almost a week, it's been due to my EXTREME stress these past few days. I've had so much work to do for classes, not to mention emotional issues still needing the kinks worked out, and therefore haven't had much time to do a whole hell of a lot else. I haven't even played D&D in weeks!! (I miss it so much *tear*)

There is one thing I've had time for, and that's playing Pokemon (still). I'm about 13 hours into Emerald, and it's really making me want to buy a DS Lite so's I can play on my own systems and not have to borrow from my roommate. Birthday present, perhaps...? XD

Random: My kitty is absolutely adorable. ^_^ She's been missing me a lot lately from what my parents tell me, and Mum says she hasn't been eating so well... *sadness* I don't want my kitty to waste away!! But she is almost fourteen years old, so...yeah...

One last thing-- I hate Kentucky/Southern Indiana weather. I hate it. Fuck you, Ohio Valley! You knock me down, over and over, and hit me around with allergies all year round! But I must be crazy, since I could have gone ANYWHERE for college, and where did I decide to go?? A college in fucking New Albany. And where do I want to go for grad school?? A college in Louisville. I must be insane. -___- Sheesh.

In which Lauren discovers that Anna Nalick was right about one thing

I just need to breathe...things have been hectic lately, and it's all in my mind. How ironic, neh? I long ago learned that I have almost no capacity to deal with stress, and yet I constantly create stress for myself out of...well, I don't even know what. Honestly, I have homework to do, I really ought to go to the library and return those freakin' books and get some new ones, and yet, I feel not at all compelled to do so. How lazy am I?! Maybe I just need a boost of concentration. Oh, ADHD, have you made me such a procrastinator that I can't even tell if it's your fault or mine anymore? Hahaaa, how pathetic.
I don't excuse my behavior by blaming it all on the disorder, though-- it was probably a part of me to begin with, but my little mental issue has most likely enhanced it -__- But there are one or two things I thank it for, one of them being my Hyperfocus Ability (lovely little unexpected perk, there), which gives me +2 to Concentration checks when it's a Favored Skill. (Yeah, nerdy talk. Deal with it.)
Okay, I think I have sufficient motivation to brave the cold and head over to the library. It'll give me something to do, anyways, so why the hell not? I might as well pack up my notebooks and make it an afternoon affair. XD Well, that is, after I get something more substantial to eat and charge up my iPod a little...oh, yeah, and I have to pick up my roommate's trombone...so dammit! Thwarted by outside factors once again! I will go to the library today, though, I swear. I've made my mind up about it. ^^
Damn...I still have homework for Honors to do, and an application for housing next year that I need to turn in...and I probably ought to make an appointment with Dr. Day about resuming counseling sessions... *sigh* So much to do!!!

Addendum: Just remembered that I'm gonna be over at the library tomorrow afternoon, so it'd be stupid to go today...*dumbass*